ADVERTISEMENT

So this week is one of those rare moments when us Yinzers become a spotlight in the world because they are hosting the G20 Summit here in the great city of Pittsburgh. People have been preparing this for weeks – businesses and schools are closing – it’s a pretty big deal here. The G20 Summit is when all of the world’s leaders meet to discuss their plans and the topic of discussion will mostly be on a green economy.

Today, some stupid protesters were arrested for dangling themselves off the West End Bridge:

My husband drove right past these idiots today. And you look at this picture from the LA Times and can’t help but question what these people are thinking or what they’re really trying to achieve. Is this peaceful? Does this accomplish anything?

Anyways, I get too mad thinking about this to really write anything that’s not going to offend anyone, so instead I’ve decided to create a short little guide for all of our visitors we are welcoming into the city this week.

Here are some things you need to know if you will be visiting Pittsburgh this week:

1. The majority of Yinzers I’ve talked to would love it if the world actually warmed up. It was -20 degrees here all last winter. Most of us were wearing sweaters this summer. Bring on the global warming, please!! Carbon Credits? Yeah, we’ll trade you a beer for a kielbasi at the next Steeler’s game if that sounds good to you.

2. Speaking of football, for your own personal safety, please do not wear your home team’s football jersey while visiting. Wearing anything besides Black & Gold may result in accidental injury or harm to you and your loved ones. We take football seriously here. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.

3. I will predict that few violent outbreaks will be because of protester’s signs or causes or messages. Any possible violence will most likely occur because residents in the city of Pittsburgh have been detoured not only from construction for the past 20??+ years, but also because we now must detour even further so yinz can all hang out here.

4. We like to go fishing and boating in our rivers. That means we don’t want our fishing lines and hooks to be caught up in your banners you are dangling over our river, nor do we want anything to accidentally drop into it that would actually pollute it from your protesting efforts.

5. Our friends, family, and many residents here have fought and are currently fighting for you all over the world so you can have the right and the freedom to protest and share your viewpoints here. Please show a little respect to our city and to the people who have supported and your freedom.

6. We love our city and you better not f*** with it or any of us while you’re here.

Well, I’m going to bed tonight seriously wondering if I should perhaps evacuate somewhere else for a few days…but I think it should all be fine and most of us can’t wait for this to be over.

If you’re in Pittsburgh or from Pittsburgh, I want to hear from you about it and your thoughts on the whole G20 shebang – and feel free to share any of your thoughts and comments on this whole thing even if you’re not a Yinzer native