ADVERTISEMENT

We forgot all about stupid holidays…until learning that today March 14th is National Potato Chip Day. Why does the potato chip need a holiday? Isn’t there already enough commotion about Christmas and 4th of July and Thanksgiving? Do you think your boss would really let you have today off in observation of the Potato Chip? Do you care that there are currently over 1000 different flavors of potato chips? Do you even EAT potato chips?

There are only three groups of people we can think of that might care that today is National Potato Chip Day:
1. The person who compulsively feels the need to set a bowl of chips no one will eat at a party and the person who is too shy to talk to anyone at the party and eats the entire bowl to calm his or her nerves.
2. The people who work making and selling potato chips and actually like their job making and selling potato chips.
3. A couch full of stoners who just finished smoking and found a bag of potato chips. Now there would be some true excitement!
Anyone else we’re missing? We didn’t think so, though feel free to share your objections or suggestions.

Other holidays worth mentioning for the month of March:
Adopt a Rescued Guinuea Pig Month:Where’s the Wonder Pets when you need them?
National Egg Salad Week: This is for people who thought about making an egg salad last weekend, but didn’t.
Bunson Burner Day is on March 31st. Time to call out all the stops and send your friends an e-card!
If these holidays don’t do it for you, you can always celebrate March 26th, which is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, because obviously we need more useless holidays and it just wouldn’t be right to make up these holidays on any other “average” day of the year.