It’s been awhile since I’ve received an email forward. Part of this I’m sure has a lot to do with the fact I’m no longer trapped in an office cubicle for the majority of my waking life anymore. Usually I just see these kinds of stupid things posted as bulletins on MySpace where I ignore them. Come to think of it, I haven’t even logged into Myspace in a long time…

Today I received one called “Spread the Stupidity”. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen it and I have no idea who created it to give proper credit to - but at any rate I couldn’t resist blogging about someone spreading stupidity here on Best of Stupid so here you go:

Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ..do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America …do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America … do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

Only in America ..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER…. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? (Author note: is this really true? I don’t wear mascara to know!)

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dish washing soap made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all of your money is called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? (Now there’s a stupid question!)

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I’ve seen a lot worse email forwards. I am relieved that at least this one doesn’t include the famous “Now forward this to everybody you know or you are going to die” message at the end. I wonder for the ones that start with “Only in America” if it’s true that only Americans do these stupid things?

Have you gotten any good email forwards lately? Have you EVER gotten a good email forward? Who starts these things? What is their point? Why do we pass them along?