Crazy Old Cat Lady Clothes

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Most people don’t dream of being a crazy old cat lady when they get older.

But I never was most people.

In 1998, at the pinnacle of my youth with my entire adulthood ahead of me, I wondered what life could be like as a rich and sophisticated old woman surrounded by cats.

Fast forward to 2022, and while the rich and sophisticated part of the equation hasn’t yet come to fruition, I am getting older every day AND I happen to have a cat sitting next to me while I type this.

It’s not surprising that I’ve become a crazy old cat lady. After all, I grew up around the Pittsburgh area, home of crazy cat ladies.

Really, Pittsburgh is ranked third in the nation for having the most single women living with at least one cat. {Source}

We’re also ranked third for the worst-dressed city in the United States, according to GQ magazine.

This makes me wonder what else Pittsburgh might rank third for it. What is it about the number threes? I’m putting my bets on the third-ranked most superstitious city.

Update: Would you believe, we are actually are ranked #3 for being the city with the most superstitious NFL fan base? Crazy.

Anyways, after living in the Pittsburgh area for 40 something years, I say it’s a safe bet I’m qualified to tell you what to wear if you want to be a proper and fabulously fashionable crazy cat lady.

Here are some of my other koala-fications:

  • People ask me for cat advice and recommendations in the Cat Supplies aisle at Walmart while I load up my buggy with 100 lbs of cat litter.
  • When I was a teenager I worked at a store famous for its blue light specials. Every Sunday morning, I talked to a very sweet old lady in a herringbone coat drenched in the perfume of cat piss as I rang up her 62 cans of Fancy Feast.
  • I grew up around farms where everybody had at least 20 cats.

Anyways, yes, my darling, if you want to dress like an authentic crazy cat lady, I can tell you how to keep it fabulous.

Here is What You Should Wear to Be a Beautiful and Fashionable Crazy Cat Lady:

First of all, please know this: You are beautiful in whatever you wear. Really. Your cat will never judge you for what you are wearing, especially if you have food.

Still, in case you’re stuck for ideas or are looking for inspiration, we’ve got you covered with our top picks for cat lady clothes, fashion and style.

Whether you want to make your crazy old cat lady Halloween costume as authentic as possible, or just want to find a great way to incorporate your love for cats into your wardrobe, there are plenty of great things to try.

1: Posh It Up in a Plush Bathrobe

Bathrobes in a pinch can double as a coat, and they’re certainly a mark of luxury and high-end sophistication. I mean, Hugh Hefner wore a bathrobe all the time.

Wearing a bathrobe is a classic icon for reaching the pinnacle of success, wealth, and sophistication.

If you’re as serious about being surrounded by cats as Hugh was about bunnies, you certainly can’t go wrong with a bathrobe.

For best cat hair adhesion properties, a thick, velvety plush robe in solid black or dark navy is your best bet. Those darker colors really showcase and highlight all of the cat hair that sticks to you like velcro hook and loop.

You’ll have the best odds of finding a good cat lady robe if you happen to shop mid-November before the holiday season rush or the beginning of February before Valentine’s Day.

Sometimes you can get lucky the first week of May when the stores put all the robes on clearance just in time for Mother’s Day.

2. Embrace Sweater Weather All Year Round

I am very lucky to live in one of those sweater-weather friendly places where you can wear a sweater all year round.

In the winter, it’s freezing cold outside. In the summer, it’s frigidly cold inside, thanks to the modern wonders of air conditioning.

Bonus: Sweaters are significantly more socially acceptable to wear in public than a bathrobe.

Sweaters are also a great option for layering. Heck, you can wear a sweater underneath your bathrobe.

You can wear a sweater over a tank top. You can wear a sweater in a boat. In a moat, or even wear a sweater made from a mohair goat!

Collecting enough fur from your cats to knit or crochet your very own sweater is always another possible option. I’m collecting a good bit from our Himalayan Flame Point cat, it’s beautiful. It’s fluffy. It makes merino silk feel rough.

My sweater of choice is a long hooded sweater. If you’re like me and love lots of layers, make sure it’s longer than your bathrobe.

They also make cat hoodies with a kangaroo pocket, specifically for carrying around your cat with you. While it’s a cute idea, it’s not exactly practical. You need to have a special kind of cat who is very laid-back.

If you’re gonna consider one of these kinds of cat hoodies, you need a total slacker kind of cat who’s such a slacker you named him Burrito.

Burrito The Slacker Cat
Burrito The Slacker Cat

3. Wear Leopard Print Anything

My love for leopard print everything began as a teenager. I’m sure it coincided right around the time I started dreaming of being a crazy old cat lady.

Leopard print shoes and slippers are my favorite choice because you can pretty much wear them anywhere and anytime and with anything.

It’s important if you live somewhere that gets a lot of rain you choose something that won’t get ruined when it gets wet. Or, perhaps consider a pair of leopard print rain boots.

Of course, you don’t have to stick to just leopard print shoes. You can opt for a casual leopard print hair accessory or even go with a leopard print skirt.

I personally love leopard print. Everybody should wear more of it.

4. Wear a Dress

If you really want to be beautiful and fabulous even on days you don’t leave your house, you should wear a dress.

I love wearing dresses, and it’s funny because growing up I was most definitely the opposite. You would NOT find me in a dress unless my mom was making me wear one for church or somebody died.

Why wear a dress as a crazy cat lady? It helps you feel beautiful as you do not-so-glamorous things as a cat owner. You can’t always look good, but the right dress can help you feel good.

This is especially important for times when you’re cleaning up the hairball your cat yakked up all over the dining room floor and scooping out the litter box.

5. Don’t Forget to Accessorize

To really complete your look as a crazy cat lady, the key is in the details. You gotta accessorize!

A purse that doubles as a cat carrier is a good option if you have a cat that likes to travel.

Cat ear headbands are also a good choice. If you like to wear headphones to listen to music or while you’re gaming, my oldest had a great pair of cat headphones.

You could also always opt for a nice barrette or hair clip.

Try to avoid wearing necklaces. Experienced cat owners know they can’t resist the temptation of something dangling in front of them and it could potentially end badly for you.

Are You a Crazy Cat Lady? What Do You Wear?

Do you have cats? What do you like to wear? Share your favorite clothes, accessories, and ideas in the comments below.

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